vinegod:

That first person to flip to the next test page… 📝 by Thomas Sanders

mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition

sibiet:

i actually like asshole couples best like the couples that pick on each other so much and call each other names but it’s okay because you know they’re actually totally in love and none of it is meant in a mean way and every insult is punctuated by a sweet comment to remind the other how much they actually adore them and i’m sorry but there isn’t anything cuter ok

(via notivated)

vinegod:

Scaredy cat🙀 by Ry Doon